“Am I boring you?”
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Conventional wisdom has it that if you can sit in “comfortable silence” with someone and not feel restless or awkward, you’re in a good place in your relationship. Where does one draw the line between comfortable silence and polite boredom? When you’re speaking and your conversation partner’s eyes glaze over, when they nod and smile a little too much, you have to wonder if what you’re saying to them is remotely interesting.
The term “no personality” is used to describe someone who seems to have nothing interesting to say. In my opinion, it’s one of the most scathing remarks you could make about a person: “Oh yeah, she’s nice but she has no personality.” Being the uncharismatic wallflower I was back at school, I used to worry that people described me that way behind my back.
I don’t quite believe there’s such a thing as a person with no personality because everyone has their quirks and unique character traits. So why do some people’s personalities fail to come across to others? Dolly Chua, a matchmaker and dating coach at dating agency Gaigai, sheds light on the subject of so-called boring people and how we can shed the image with a simple fix.
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2. Hornsey, M. J., Wellauer, R., McIntyre, J. C. and Barlow, F. K. (2015) A critical test of the assumption that men prefer conformist women and women prefer nonconformist men. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 41 6: 755-768. doi:10.1177/0146167215577366
3. Berns G. S., McClure S. M., Pagnoni G., & Montague P. R. (2001). Predictability modulates human brain response to reward. The Journal of Neuroscience, 21(8), 2793–2798.
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Sound design by Lee Zhe Ren. Check out his band Cosmic Child on Spotify.